Dahlias, a pie and a country fair

Adam, a dead ringer for his Grandpa Don Snobelen

And here we are. Adam with one blue and 3 red ribbons for his dahlias and Joni with one blue ribbon and a “Best in Show” rosette for her blackberry pie at the Saanichton Fair. And here I am with a powerful sense of déjà vu. Or, perhaps, just a joyful trip down memory lane.

Amongst the most memorable things my father told me was that his favourite place in the world was in his greenhouse surrounded by his begonias. It wasn’t just begonias. Some of the earliest pictures I’ve seen of Father are of him with his prize disbud chrysanthemums. I grew up in greenhouses filled with carnations, cyclamen and flats and flats of marigolds and other annual bedding plants bound for Victoria’s gardens.  

Don Snobelen was a man of flowers. For a while, I followed in his footsteps. I made thousands of his famous moss hanging baskets. When he stopped making the heavy, cumbersome baskets he brought me plants to augment the ones I grew in my own greenhouse.

But the flowers that bring back my fondest memories of Father are the gigantic poinsettias he brought me every Christmas. Religiously anti-Christmas, and anything that hinted of Christmas, he could not resist the glorious red “seasonal flower.” He knew what joy they brought me and my little family.

His last flower “crop” was his backyard of dahlias. A random mixed-bag of varieties. But when the flowers opened he knew every one of their faces by name. Father picked them. Mother bunched them along with cosmos, baby’s breath, snapdragons and … She displayed them on their roadside stand. Neighbours bought them. I often wondered if they knew the pleasure they gave to my aging parents.

Twice a day Mother went out to the stand to collect the quarters and dollar bills. I’m pretty sure it was the most enjoyable money my parents ever made. Her report of how good a day they had was directly hinged to the “take” in the jar.

While Father was a growing man, Mother was a cooking and baking woman. This is not to underestimate my mother’s broad-based skills and incredible intelligence, but Phyllis Snobelen was known for her delicious meals. Our table was always laden with good food and surrounded by people; family, friends and strangers. All were eager to eat. Father loved inviting people home for dinner…customers, hitchhikers, someone he met at a coffeeshop or on the street… Mother’s meals were simple and economical.

Her specialty was pies.

Phyllis Snobelen made the best pies. Berry pies. Cream pies. Apple pies. Beef pies. Turkey pies. At church meals people eyed over the pie table in search of a piece from one that was made by Auntie Phyl. Guests negotiated with each other over who got to eat the last piece of pie.

And, as you can imagine, Mother loved Father’s flowers and Father was the biggest fan of Mother pies.

After writing this far I’m a bit at a loss for words. I’m looking for something witty. Something important. Something profound. Yet many of the good things in life just are. They are simple. They aren’t about life’s lessons or what we can learn. They aren’t about improving the world. Or ourselves. They are a pie. Some dahlias. A big onion. A long scarlet runner bean. A country fair. Father received numerous ribbons at the Saanichton Fair for onions, beans, leeks, and dahlias. Many dahlias.

Joni’s Grandma Phyl never entered her pies in the fair but they would have been winners for sure

The zealot’s daughter

Don Snobelen

When I was in grade eleven there was the it-guy in grade twelve—handsome, athletic, surrounded by it-girls and other it-guys. I didn’t know him and he never gave me as much as a glance. One day, in a semi empty hall he walked up to me and stopped, “Are you Sylvia?” I don’t remember his name or even exactly what he looked like, but I can still hear “Sylvia”. I’m surprised that I heard anything over the buzz in my ears. Maybe I didn’t hear it as much as I felt it in my knees and the pit of my stomach.

I’m sure I mumbled some sort of acknowledgement although I don’t remember.

“I met your dad last night. He picked me up at Elk Lake and drove me all the way home to Lands End.”

He smiled with a look that I’d seen before in other people who had encountered my father.

“What a great guy. He went so far out of his way to give me a ride,” pause, “he’s,” pause, “interesting.”

What could I say? The buzz turned to numb.

The it-guy was right. We lived only minutes from Elk Lake and the trip to Lands End gave my father at least half an hour with his captive audience.

It’s true my Father was a great guy. He had a handsome, loving, charming smile. He genuinely liked people. He was generous and gregarious. He was unpretentious and kind. He thought he was funny and told all the same eye-rolling, dad jokes that other dads told in those days. And my father believed in his daughters. He told us that we could do anything his sons could do and probably better. That was a gift most girls did not receive from their fathers in the 1950s and 60s.

But I knew that the it-guy didn’t mean my father was interesting. He thought he was interesting and that was different.

When he walked away I was mortified (a word my mother used when referring to my father’s behaviour).

My father was a zealot. He was an uncompromising believer, a preacher, a prophet and perhaps the most enthusiastic evangelist you could ever encounter. The Bible was his book, the promises to Abraham, Issac and Jacob were his mission statement and the return of Jesus to rule over a 1000-year earthly kingdom was his vision and his endgame.

I knew father could fill the it-guy in on that part in about 15 minutes. He had another 15 minutes to cover the evils of ‘the world’, to convince him that we were living in the ‘time of the end’ and persuade him to start reading the Bible soon so he didn’t miss out on the opportunity to be saved.

I’m sure the it-guy has told this story as well—the night a guy picked him up and gave him a ride all the way home so that he could preach to him. He might say that the guy was crazy. But I doubt it. He probably says the same thing he said to me “What a great guy.”

Because my father was a great guy. When he died, in his late 80s, hundreds of people attended his funeral. Kids he had hired in our greenhouses. Paper boys who were now fathers themselves. Store clerks. Customers. Neighbours. Our school friends. His mechanic, nurses and anyone he had encountered. And most of them would have had a similar story to the it-guy.

There are many things about being the zealot’s daughter that don’t go away. It’s okay to be different. I mean really different and not the cool sort of different. It’s okay to believe weird things that other people don’t believe in. It’s okay to trust people and let them into your life without living in fear. It’s okay to truly dance to your own drummer and to sing like nobody is listening. Father was not even like the others in his very, very conservative church…he was as different from them as he was from the people he met in ‘the world’. And that’s okay.

And it’s better than okay to really love, to really be generous, to really not be burdened by popular opinion, to really smile and to really like people. Thanks dad for it all.